Wednesday, February 20, 2008
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Home of the Porchies, the Sluts, those afflicted with Smaw Poese, the lonely bitter Hags, the Homie Ho's, the ubiquitous and somewhat cantankerous Unicorn, and anyone else who feels like an outcast from time to time.
227 comments:
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first
WOW,
Way to totally mess that one up
WTF?
Niiiiiiiice.
We welcome all here.
Hi Lurker!!
Morning Princess!
Just ask
Cause I am a bleeder
for all the bottom feeders
Anyone thirsty?
hello porch dwellers. sorry i wasn't around for the race today!!
hope we are all super duper??
who is lurkerfirst??
or lurker actually??
Well I'll be damned. Guess what? Remember how I said I was going to work hard yesterday to see if I liked it? Well, I didn't.
SHOCKER!
Even so, I still have to today. It's so unfair.
GRRRR!
Alright. See you guys later on today!
Everyone (even you, PPU) have a lovely day!
XOXO,
S&V20
Wishing all of you a beautiful day!
Imma hang here. Don't need the wank that's going on over there at the Mansion.
Uh, lemme ask.
WTF?
I've had it up to my neck in this dramatic bullshit.
I don't know but I'm all like this now. @_@
I so confoooozed!
Anona/Regs posing as Anons
WTF?
princess, check your email. mustard, do you have one?
Got it.
That'd be a negative, Anon.
I'll talk to you all later this afternoon.
That shit going on at Mayo's is just stupid and I really don't feel like blessing somebody out right now. I'm trying to be a nicer person.
Muwahahah!
Still, I'll to you guys later!
Love ya bunches!
XOXO,
S&V20
I'll TALK to you guys later.
Jeez. See what happens when I try to be nice? I forget half of my words.
>_<
See ya, Smoke!
I'm gonna hang around here. I don't want to be in that company :)
I'm hunting wabbits.
sorry that was me, double post.
in times of strife, people's true colors show through.
I am getting so close to going off. I am trying with all my strength not to comment to that last remark.
I love you guys, but I need to walk away for a bit. Oh and I need to work! Fuck!
Hi guys.
Those nasty anons can blow me.
I was so proud that I told them to "suck it."
My first insult of the day, and it's midday, so things are looking splendid!
;)
'Twas a joke, Anonymous. Mostly a joke within my mind.
It's good that you're paying attention, though ;)
Splash, I have a fantastic idea. How cool would it be if you just went onto that blog with both guns firing? Just let loose and shouted everyone down? Oh my god I'd void my bowels; it would be awesome. ;)
Okay, you take the word-loaded gun and I'll take the cupcake-loaded gun and we'll show them what we're made of!
Actually, this one's not made of much, but it seems my not-so-secret secret is out! ;)
And damn it, if anyone sees Fimble around here, give her a swift kick in the arse for me. I'm harassing her at her home.
Okay, I just had to peek back in for a sec...
I CAN'T STAND IT!
'Slepping' is now the official word of the day. ^_^
And now, PPU is going postal for bad grammar. ^_^
This is just crazy!
Oh, and Mustard....
I've killed many a houseplant. Don't feel alone. All types, all kinds. I've tried everything. My mother on the other hand, can whisper to her violets and they immediately perk up.
Go figure.
Not that it matters much, but I wanted to let you all know I am none of the anons today.
For what it's worth, I didn't think it was.
I just can't see you actually typing out 'slepping'.
^_^
That sounded like crap didn't it. Talk about bad grammar.
I didn't thing you were.
That's what I meant.
Jeez!
Again, I try to be nice and DAMN!!
Ok, I'm gonna stop now.
I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE!
Guys, come and sing DAY-O with me.
Six foot, seven foot, eight foot VUNCH.
Well, thank you, S&M. It might have taken you three tries to get the sentiment out, but it was still sweet.
I hope you are having a great afternoon.
Mustard, where did your blog go?!!
You can't do that, because it will make me want to delete all my posts. You better undo that privacy setting missy. ^_~
I'm getting on that right now!
I was doing some rearrangements of the furniture, but decided against it, then left, then I came back.
DO NOT ERASE THEM!!!
;)
Hey Smoke, PPU, SisterM???, and Kapunua!
I saw your comment on my page, and I went to your blog and it scared me!!!
Okay, I feel better now. :)
Hi, MIB.
Solly is on the celly and she said to tell you all HELLO!
HELLLOOOOOOO!!!!
Did she hear that?
hello porch dwellers!
i can't stop. god i sound like a broken record but that is the sad truth. so love to you all and i'll be around in dribs and drabs tomorrow!
She heard you!
She said, "Mustard, give kisses to my unicorn for me."
O_O
Promise. I'm not making that up. PPU, guess she doesn't trust PPB.
Only for Sdock, and ONLY THIS ONE TIME!!!
*reluctantly walks over to PPU*
*blows an AIR KISS*
What? Unicorns could have hoof-in-mouth's disease!
I guess I will settle for an air kiss. Woe is me.
Tell her I said "Howdy", S&M. Isn't that what you Southerners say?
O_O
Seriously?
PPU, come defend yourself!
Do you really?
Well, more like "Hey ya'll!"
Say it! I dare you!
"Hey, you all!"
Oh, BOOOO!!!!!
You gotta make it one word. I know it's hard for you. I'll let it slide.
Ok, here's a joke. I can post this only because I am Southern and therefore understand and sometimes speak the language.
NEVER CHOKE IN A RESTAURANT IN THE SOUTH
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. After ordering
their cornbread and beans, they talk about the latest addition to their junkyard business.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.
One of the hillbillies looks at her and says 'Kin ya swallar?' The woman shakes her head no.
'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt
cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and
the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.
His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of dat dere 'Hind
Lick Maneuver', but I ain't never seed nobody do it.'
Cheesy? Yeah, I know. ^_^
Words cannot express the hilarity I just found in that joke.
Hey Smoke?
What was the name of that Johnny Cash song where the video had musicians and actors and actresses singing along with him?
I can't remember.
Very cute, S&M.
MIB, are you thinking about "God's Gonna Cut You Down"?
Holy crap, PPU. That's the one I'm thinking of. Thank you!
I could see the video playing in my head, but I couldn't think of one word that would help me with the title.
I'm backwards like that.
I love that song. I love Mr. Cash. Plus, it has one of my favorite dudes in it.
Be back in awhile!
Love and hugs and air kisses!
Mwah! Air kiss!
*Princess runs up and smacks PPU on the ass.
Ha! Betcha didn't see that one coming! ^_~
I'll see you all in a bit, too!
Got 45 minutes to go! WOOHOO!
XOXO,
S&V20
It sure is dead around here!
Gv is PPU
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!
PH! Sdock!
What are you guys doing?
O_o
What's up with the anons NOW?
(At work, no time to read @ Mayo's)
What am I missing this time?
Hey Mustard! How are you?
Sister Midnite, I have no effing clue myself. I just got home and can't decide if I even care enough to backread it all.
They are still hammering BC.
Hey SisterM!!!
Sdock:
I'm okay, thanks! You alright?
Hello! Hello!
Wassup since I left like an hour ago?
Uh, I don't think anything.
Same old?
Oh, I forgot!
HEY SMOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!!
Mustard,
I s'okay.
Toe skillz?
What is that?
Mustard,
WTF with the toe hurtage?
Sdock:
Is this a night for me to believe that? 'Cause I will. And I just wanted to say that you should eff all the anons at Mayo's. They have no fucking clue, okay?
Toe skillz?
What is that?
Hell if I know!
MissT,
YAYYYYYYYYYYY! How are you?
Hello there, MissT! How was your first day on the job?!
Mustard,
Okay, I won't sit here and tell you that when people talk about you it doesn't kind of hurt a little bit, because it did and it does. But, people are entitled to their opinions. Everyone doesn't have to like me, listen to me, love me, or sympathize with my situation.
MISST!!!!!!!
Hey MissT!
What I really don't understand though, is why they only show up at Mayo's.
I mean, why?
Why not here? Not that I'd want them to but you know. Maybe they know we will be deleted if they start shit, I don't know. And why only certain people. I mean, besides being called stuck up (?) and a hoe (??) they rarely say anything to me.
Why you? You hardly ever even address the anons anyway.
Why am I asking so many questions?
I don't know.
I'll shut up now.
For a second or two.
Okay, I won't sit here and tell you that when people talk about you it doesn't kind of hurt a little bit, because it did and it does.
Oh, I know. Remember that I'm a child and "I have an excuse," and I'm retarded, and I'm pretending to be oh so sweet and nice.
Yeah, it stings. It stung a lot a few days back. But, we know in our hearts what we're here for and no one can tell us any different. We are who we are and we help each other get to where they'd like to be.
Hello Mustard, sdock and S&V.
How are you all?
I feel *shrugs*. The anons at mayos are depressing. I don't like the atmosphere there at all.
Mustard, I'm still working at my sis's place helping her out. I really enjoy it, thanks. I will be doing it for the forseeable future but I still need to find something permanent.
I really wanna do a teaching course that will enable me to teach english to foreigners. It is called TEFL, or TESOL, or ESOL, or CELTA but it is the same qualification worldwide.
And I think that's an awesome goal to try and acheive. Like I told you the other day, it will give you and your student a lot of joy. It would be a fulfilling job to work.
MissT,
Will you teach me first so that I can learn the correct way to speak?
Hey, lemme spell achieve wrong.
*Achieve
I need something fulfilling. >_<
I just don't know what that would be. Thirteen years of collecting hospital bills and filing claims and filing garnishments and getting bitched out on a daily basis is just getting rather.....
OLD.
Steven from SURS has my dream job. Solly, whaddya say we pitch a new show idea to FUSE?
We can be so much more funny than Steven.
Hee hee you guys.
The only stumbling block will be the £1,500 cost so it isn't gonna happen tomorrow.
Princess, I wish we could all find our dream jobs.
That would be wonderful.
Smoke and Solly Rock Show!
Niiiiiiiiiiice.
I bet we have like 5 people here who would totally watch us on television.
Right?
Fuck yes, you would.
I wanna wave to PPU cos I always miss them.
I would watch. I would make everyone I knew watch and write you fanmail hee hee!
Wouldn't it though? What is my dream job? I have fucking clue.
Ain't that the truth.
Life would be so much easier.
MissT,
We can wave to PPU together, because I always miss them and because I miss them.
*waves to PPU*
Hi!
MissT,
What would your fan letter say?
OMG!
Mustard, would you watch? Huh? Huh?
We could have all of you on as guest reporters. Right?
Mustard would have all the insider info on Ray Toro and all the cool new guitarists!
Solly, I would write and say that you are my hero and ask you for life advice.
Fuck yeah, I would!
And Fuck Yeah, I'd have all the insider info on Raymond Toro and, you know, other duuuuudes! But, mostly just Raymond.
;)
Hell, we'd have him on the show once a week displaying his newly found skillz.
Smoke,
I don't think the censors would let me on cable tv.
How could I clean up my dirty mouth?
I would say "wow, you are the coolest sisters on TV".
MissT,
You would just write to me to hear my filthy mouth.
Hee hee hee, I fucking would solly.
Could I do the overseas reports from the UK?
Orbit! ^___^
And since Mustard would have Mr. Toro on, well, you know my weekly guest would be none other than Mr. Iero for a giggle-fest! And all the insider info on LEATHERMOUTH!
YES!
Guitars and giggles!
Totally, missT. You would have your side of the pond covered as our roving reporter.
Then we'd get to go to all the cool shows and festivals.
I'd get to smother Bert and squeeze Adam.
And we'd be legit. They couldn't like just ignore us.
Nope.
They'd have to let me smother and squeeze them.
Then we would all just laugh and laugh.
Ahhhhh.
Awwwh, SNAP! I just remembered my dream from last night, Smoke. You and I had 2 concerts to go to in the same night. Kid Rock and Def Leppard. Kid Rock was too crowded and we couldn't see anything, so we went straight to see Def Leppard and we got in the front row ummm cuz it wasn't so crowded and all. But anyways and I got to meet Rick Allen, the drummer. The Thunder God and he was so sweet to me.
I love him.
It was a good dream.
I'd make Bert go shopping with me, but just to Wal Mart. Then we'd totally go tear up McDonald's or Burger King and we'd play on the playgroud. We'd have a blast.
Which reminds me....
Did you know that Def Leppard is doing a song with Tim McGraw?
Admit it. You look like this right now O_o, right?
Am I right?
Smoke,
I did know that because Mama told me.
You know it's going to rock, right? Yes, yes.
Question:
This is gross but am I supposed to have two holes in the back of my throat?
Cuz I totally do and it's freaking me out.
Rock?
Uh, I dunno. We'll see!
X_x
Like Bon Jovi and Leann Rimes?
Ahem.
Muwahahah.
Eeeeeeeeeewwwwww princess. What you been shoving in there?
WTF are you talking about? You got some funky throat thing going on, ain't you? You better get you some meds and get yourself better before Kid Rock because I ain't babysitting your husband while you are home sickly.
I don't know! Nothing! I promise.
O_O
I'm scared!
Where's Kapunua? She's good at like diagnosing stuff.
Solly, do you really think for one second that I'd let my husband go see Kid mutha effin' Rock without me?
Seriously.
Tuh-tuh-tuh.
BTW! Where is FIMBLE???
What do you mean by holes exactly? I mean you have to swallow.
Where are these holes?
FIMBLE?????? Where are you?
Don't worry, they are normal. I know cos my mum's friend got a fruit pip stuck in one of hers.
Like in the back of my throat on the sides.
It's like this:
O___O
Ok, not like that.
I don't know how to explain it!
Holes in your throat?
Eww.
I hope they don't let your brain leak out!
Yeah, I miss you fimble sweetie.
For real, the back of my throat looks like I've been swallowing battery acid.
EWWWWWWWW!!!
I've harassed Fimble today.
Pretty sure she's gonna come slap me for mucking up her blog.
FIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBLE!!!
MUSTARD!
X__X
Not funny. :)
You may have crypts in your tonsils. Not the haunted kind... the kind frequently caused by infection.
Aw, but Anon?! The haunted kind would be cool!
Like, that creepy-ass dude from Tales From The Crypt would pop his beady-eyed little head out of your mouth.
Kinda be gross, but totally awesome.
O_O
WTF are crypts?
OMG! Seriously! SOLLY! HELP!
Just playin'.
It would be something, that's for sure.
Tonsillar crypts are always there, by the way...everyone has them. But they can become pronounced from infection (and probably other things). That's what I meant.
My tonsils are huge.
You're very knowledgeable.
Dr. Anon suit you?
And it would be something, wouldn't it? I'm pretty sure it'd be weird seeing any head pop out of Smoke's mouth, but that head imparticular. Sheesh! Gives me the allovers.
Yuck solly!
Ewwwww!
I'm just hoping my Strep isn't coming back.
THAT WAS BAD!!!!!!!!!
I was soooo sick.
Okay, thanks lurker anon with medical info. ^_^
Be back in about twenty minutes!
Yeah, it really is.
Any time.
Not a doctor, just someone who purports to know something, occasionally. And now I've gotta go. See you later.
Knowing something is better than knowing nothing at all
Yeah, I changed the lyrics. :)
Strep Ass?
Hmmmmm. Not sure about that one.
Strep Ass Anon:
I'd hate to be you and have to get a culture done!
;)
My dude is on the phone with me and he hasn't caught a breath in 13 mins worth of talking. All I get in the convo is ummm hmmm uhh huh and yeah.
Ooooh, snap.
How on earth do I make this child do his homework? Grrr!
God, he acts just like me.
LHM!!!!!!!
Now, he's huffing and puffing.
He is sooooo dramatic.
My mood is starting to downshift. This sucks.
ha ha ha ha stick to your guns LHM!!!!!
O_o;;;
Tonsil crypts, Tales from the Crypt, finger skillz, and the Smoke & Solly Rock Show.
If you ever have GWay as a guest, make him talk only about Mr. Toro's skillz. Dude talks too much about his own self already! ;)
Can I be a guest? I'd bring boooooooots...
<--- still at work :(
I'll be right back.
20 mins in and he's still talking.
Wonder what he's taken today?
Don't let it, Sdock. Fight it.
Smoke:
Don't use bribery. Or you could and entice him with your princessy ways. :)
SisterM!:
Boots will be part of the wardrobe. Boots and tiaras for all!
Nik&Nite,
You would be the Canadian roving reporter. DUH!!!
You could totally do your own segments about boots in rock.
Don't get sad solly sweetie.
Helloooooooooooooo sis m!
Mustard,
LHM doesn't believe is mother is a Princess. That only works in BlogBelieve.
Kid is too smart for his own good.
He asked me last night...so, which one are you on Mayonaise? Are you Kapunua?
I should have said yes, because I'm pretty sure Kapunua almost never cusses.
smoke, do u actually smoke?? that can affect your tonsils bad
OMG!
Now this is bad. I was checking his math homework and I was like,
"Dude, you didn't answer this one."
He was like, "Uh, there's no right answer for that one."
I'll be damned if he wasn't telling the truth. Shit.
Anon,
Ewwww. No, I do not smoke. I live with a smoker but I don't smoke. I've never inhaled like ever.
X_x
Promise.
He was like, "Uh, there's no right answer for that one."
Haha! That kid is smart. I can tell from when he's on here. :)
I'm afraid to ask where everyone trailed off to.
Sdock:
How's it coming?
I'm here mustard sweetie.
Can you help me find mine too solly?
I promise to help you look, MissT.
For sure.
Wonder what we'll find????
I will be back in a few. Must go wash the stank off.
BOO! I'm back!
Did you hear me squeaking? I am so clean.
*puts hand to ear*
What is that strange squeeking noise?
Hey guys!
Hey Mustard sweetie!
Ugh, I have a meffin' headache.
It is not fun.
Hey MissT! Hey Sdock!
What ya'll doing?
Doing nothing, you?
Soz to hear about the headache M.
So....
What's the topic?
Mustard, I'm sorry about your headache. I feel one creeping up on me tonight.
Aw, I kinda liked scary rocker chick, and the last one, the youngster. The first two, yeah, meh.
LHM is running around in my Pencey Prep shirt and his Spiderman mask.
Heh-heh.
OH that girl...no honey, don't.
She sounds like a record on the wrong speed.
Scary rocker chick is pretty cool. I don't think she's going to last though. I think a dude is going to win this year.
Hi Carrie, how are you?
Hey sdock, princess, head hurty Mustard. I'm fine, just hanging out sorta watching AI and the eclipse. So far, the eclipse has way more talent.
Hi carrie!
Hey Carrie!
So like what time is the eclipse?
And Miss T! How could I have missed you?
it just started here, 8:43 pm starting time.
Lovely to see you carrie sweetie.
Sorry I left you guys :(
Hey Carrie!
Yeah, so what's the topic?
American Idol suckage and the eclipse, hmm, perhaps the eclipse is exerting some weird gravitational pull on the talent.
Runs to back porch to see the eclipse...
How many nights a week is american idol shown in your country?
Once a week is too much for us already.
Solly,
I'm playing with the colors on the porch. Hope you don't mind. I was going to change it to all orange and black but then that one little purple unicorn stuck out like a sore thumb.
Plus, it was very halloweenish.
I'm lying. It was totally Tony Stewart colors. ^_^
But I changed it.
I think it's three at this point--boy's night, girl's night, and then the results show. So yeah, a lot!
MissT,
I think it comes on either twice or three times a week.
TOO MUCH!
Well, how bout today's events?
You guys are drowning in American Idol. How much can you take?
Well, my bed is calling. Enjoy your night of eclipse watching.
Ta ta for now. Sweet dreams for all.
I don't have any words for today's events.
It was kinda hurtful, but we were all powerless to stop it.
Smoke,
You can make it purdy as you like. Shoots, I don't mind at all.
Take LHM outside to see the eclipse. It's badass.
Nite, nite MissT.
I love you.
Sweet dreams, MissT!
Solly,
We can see it from the kitchen window. He was like, "Yep."
I think he was just a smidge impressed. O_o
As far as what went on today, I just don't know what to say really.
I'm just wondering where GV is now?
Why do people feel the need to be so hurtful?
Jealousy.
Jealous of what you reckon?
Nobody's jealous of me. I'm sad and pathetic.
Maybe they're jealous of you though.
New page?
They don't pick on me though. Why? Mayo's never talked to me. Other than the "I'm an ass" thing.
He has talked to you. He's talked to Kapunua. He's talked to BC, I think.
Maybe that's what they are jealous of.
You guys wanna know how slow I really am?
Really slow.
Possibly retarded!
I just got it.
Just got what?
Mustard,
How can you be retarted and astute?
That just doesn't make sense.
But...jealous why? I still don't get it.
OMG!
Maybe I'm the retarded one. O_O
I just got what you were saying.
Yeah, you know when I came in this afternoon?
And all the anons were at Mayo's throwing accusations at GV for things?
Yeah, I didn't see her comment. I would have been typing in the comment box when she posted the admission.
I just got it. I walked in on the heels of what was happening.
Nope, I don't get it.
How can you be retarted and astute?
I suppose anything's possible!
And I'm jealous of you, so that's possible, too.
Solly,
Why wouldn't they be jealous? Tell me that. Whoever Mayo is, it doesn't matter, he/she singled you out and made it known that they liked you. They liked what you wrote.
These people are jealous of that. The only way they know to compete is to try and tear you down.
But it ain't gonna work.
Well, that. And you know how to write out your feelings.
Oh my good lord.
My computer just started talking to me. @_@
WTF? What did I do?
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