Saturday, October 25, 2008

Hairy Toe

The Hairy Toe
retold by
S. E. Schlosser


Once there was an old woman who went out in the woods to dig up some roots to cook for dinner. She spotted something funny sticking out of the leaves and dug around until she uncovered a great big hairy toe. There was some good meat on that toe which would make a real tasty dinner, so the old woman put it in her basket and took it home.

When she got back to her cottage, the old woman boiled up a kettle-full of hairy toe soup, which she ate for dinner that night. It was the best meal she'd had in weeks! The old woman went to bed that night with a full stomach and a big smile.
Along about midnight, a cold wind started blowing in the tops of the trees around the old woman's house. A large black cloud crept over the moon and from the woods a hollow voice rumbled: "Hairy toe! Hairy toe! I want my hairy toe!" Inside the house, the old woman stirred uneasily in her bed and nervously pulled the covers up over her ears.

From the woods there came a stomp-stomp-stomping noise as the wind whistled and jerked at the treetops. In the clearing at the edge of the forest, a hollow voice said: "Hairy toe! Hairy toe! I want my hairy toe!" Inside the house, the old woman shuddered and turned over in her sleep.

A stomp, stomp, stomping sound came from the garden path outside the cottage. The night creatures shivered in their burrows as a hollow voice howled: "Hairy toe! Hairy toe! I want my hairy toe!" Inside the house, the old woman snapped awake. Her whole body shook with fright as she listened to the angry howling in her garden. Jumping out of bed, she ran to the door and barred it. Once the cottage was secure, she lay back down to sleep.

Suddenly, the front door of the cottage burst open with a bang, snapping the bar in two and sending it flying into the corners of the room. There came the stomp, stomp, stomping noise of giant feet walking up the stairs. Peeping out from under the covers, the old woman saw a massive figure filling her doorway. It said: "Hairy toe! Hairy toe! I want my hairy toe!"

The old woman sat bolt upright in terror and shouted: "I ATE your hairy toe!"

"Yes, you did," the giant figure said very gently as it advanced into the room.
No one living in the region ever saw the old woman again. The only clue to her disappearance was a giant footprint a neighbor found pressed deep into the loose soil of the meadow beside the house. The footprint was missing the left big toe.





p.s. So if you're ever in the woods and run across a big 'ol hairy toe, chances are it belongs to someone so don't take it home and eat it.

188 comments:

farawaysoclose said...

Ha ha what a horrible story! why would anyone want to eat a hairy toe? yuk!

i have just had 2 bowls of homemade mushy pea and bacon soup and i am billy bloated!!

have a great saturday porchies!

Smoke said...

Hairy toe! Hairy toe!

Bwahahahhahahahahaa!


OMG.

That is hilarious.

Anonymous said...

No! don't have time to appreciate to story!

Something about eating yucky toes....

Hello, everyone. I must now force myself to bed because I have this event thingie tonight.

Did I already tell all of you about it? I was keeping it hidden in case meanies tried to mess with it.

Here it is if interested.

www.universeparlour.com

I am such a bad guest right now. Like eating all your food in the fridge, making a mess in the living room, then running off.

Have a lovely day!

Smoke said...

Katherine! That looks like so much fun! OMG! I wish I could go!

I hope you have a fabulous time! Please come back and tell us all about it. ^_^

sdock10 said...

Mornin' Beauties!

Did you all love the story I found? Did you?

Yep, I know you did.

Made me think of FASC and her love of feet, RW and her poor hairdresser, and Fimmy who loved to chase around RW with a severed toe.

Katherine, I hope you event goes most awesomely tonight and like Smoke said I wish I could be there. We'll just have to live through you tonight. Now get some rest, silly.

Jules, Cluster partaaaaaaaay! Have fun and eat some pah of deliciousness for me!

Smoke said...

LHM must really want to go shopping.

He cleaned his room this morning.

O_O

sdock10 said...

Yayness! What are we going to go buy?

Smoke said...

He ants some new pajamas because they get to wear them to school on Tuesday.

O_o

Yeah.

And I'm sure wrasslin' will come up somehow.

sdock10 said...

So, when are we going?

sdock10 said...

Solly's Random Poem of the Day:


Darkness

I HAD a dream of a wild-lit place
Where three dark spirits met face to face.

One said: "I am darkest; I had birth
In the central blackness of mid-earth."

With a sneer one said, below his breath:
"I am still more dark, for I am Death."

But the third, with voice that bleaker pealed
Than freezing wind on a houseless field,

Cried, where he stood from the rest apart,
"I am that darkness which fills man's heart

"When it aches and yearns and burns for one
It has loved as the meadow loves the sun!"

Now I gazed on him from earth's mid-reach,
And now on the spirit of death; and each,

Though dark with a darkness to affright,
Beside that third was a shape of light.


Edgar Fawcett

Smoke said...

Ohhh, good one. :)

Ummm, I dunno. Like in an hour or so?

sdock10 said...

Sounds fab!

Whoop! Whoop! I'm ready to shop!

Anonymous said...

LMAO! I remember this story, only when I was a kid it was a woman whose husband had a golden prosthetic arm, and when he died she dug him up, stole it and sold it. Then it went on the same way with the stomp stomp stomp only it was, "I WANT MY GOLDEN ARM!"

And at the very end you'd scream and scare the everloving Christ out of everyone who was listening. ^_^

sdock10 said...


I watch these people fall
the dragon shrieks and burns it all
I flip the circuits on, I've got dragons of my own
The portal glows and my machine's destroyed

Smoke said...

Morning Jules!

Smoke said...

Is that not the best part? GAH!

BROKEN BRIDE 4-EVAH!

You know, just once I'd like to listen to it and they live happily ever after.

Just once. :(

Anonymous said...

That's how it happened! Why would I lie?
There were no bodies, I've got none to hide.
I'm just a boy, lost his friends in the rain.
Any more questions, just go and ask Lake Pontchartrain!

Anonymous said...

Oh my god! I didn't know you were posting Ludo lyrics, too! How hilarious is that! We each posted a stanza. IT'S A SIGN.

sdock10 said...

OMG, Jules!

It is a sign!

But of what?

Anonymous said...

No Princess, it's fine the way it is! Happy endings are so twee and schmaltzy! I say, let them both die. Tragedies FTW. ^_^

I gotta go break my fast you guys, catch up with ya later! :)

sdock10 said...

I'm with Smoke. It's like each time you listen to it you somehow think that this time it will end differently, but nope, it never does. And each time you hear it, it gets more heart wrenching!

Smoke said...

WAHAHAHAH! POOR TRAVELER! BOO!!!

And the poor girl has no clue. NO CLUE!

WAHAHAHAH!

Oh, Lake Pontchartrain! Nice! ^_^

Anonymous said...

Dad always warned me not to go too far into the future...because he told me I could never go back. And even though I hated him and I tried to prove him wrong...I knew I shouldn't have run away from home. Because what I found wasn't just a place where I could hide. What I found was the end of the world.

sdock10 said...

OMG, somebody stole your makeup too?

Are you for serious?

Smoke said...

My little black bag with the cherries on it? It's gone.

>___<

I am pissed the eff off now.

sdock10 said...

What the hell? Sounds like something a kid would do, right? Since they left your cell phone, ATM card, and check book, oh and your purse.

This is crazy.

resurrected wreck said...

I'm glad you told this story, Solly, 'cause now I won't ever be tempted to eat any more hairy toes.

*burp*

'Scuse me.

Anonymous said...

I bought me some shiny purple shoes. Just statin.

Anonymous said...

OMG, check this out! Your astrological sign is not what you thought it was. The sun isn't "in" the same signs it was when the astrological calendar was made up thousands of years ago.

According to this, I am actually a Virgo! O_O

resurrected wreck said...

Shiny purple shoes??

O_O

I wants to see them!!

Anonymous said...

I'll get some pics when I wear them, RW, they are super cool!

Anonymous said...

They were actually a bit expensive, at 26 bucks, and they have heels so I have no idea how the hell I am going to walk in them. But they are all man-made materials and they go with my purple and black striped shiny tights I wear on Halloween and I just haaad to.

resurrected wreck said...

$26 isn't expensive!

Must... see... pics...

But I can wait til you wear them :)

resurrected wreck said...

Gonna go shopping now (coat, not shoes).

Have a good day! ^_^

Anonymous said...

Maybe I'll throw them on tomorrow. 26 buks is expensive for me, I rarely spend over 12 on shoes. O_O Except when I needed fancy walking sneakers for The Bad Place.

Have a good time shopping, RW! Buy yourself something with my money! ;)

Anonymous said...


Around the end of the ninth month or in the tenth month, the sky darkens and a howling wind blows up, which spills yellow leaves from the trees in flurries - a forlorn and touching sight. The leaves of cherry trees and elms are particularly quick to blow off.

Places that have a garden full of trees are marvelous around the tenth month.

Anonymous said...

That's what today is like. :)

Anonymous said...

And the following is for every nice anon who has come to share poetry and things of that nature with us.

Anonymous said...

The snow was piled high, and Her Majesty's shutters were for once left down. We were all gathered in her presence chatting, with the square brazier alight, when her Majesty said to me, "Shonagon, what do you make of the snow of Koto Peak?" Thereupon I ordered that the shutters be lifted, and raised the outer blind high. Her Majesty laughed. One of the ladies also remarked appreciatively, 'I know the poem, and even use it in my own poems, but I wouldn't have thought of that. You epitomize the sort of person who belongs in this court.'

Anonymous said...

Mayo stays away longer and longer. You guys notice that?

resurrected wreck said...

In honour of your birthday, K, I bought myself a lovely black wool military mod-style coat.

Thanks, honey! ^_^

Just remember that I love you! 'Cause if you don't I'm SOL, and no mistake!

Anonymous said...

Awww, I'm so glad! It makes me so happy that you have bought something for yourself, that I'm incredibly hateful and angry! Thank you sweetheart.

resurrected wreck said...

It's what I'm here for ^_^

Just in case you were, you know, wondering.

Anonymous said...

I know! I was feeling so hateful and bitter and angry and I asked you why. When your eyes started to go all whirly and your voice started whispering, "Because you're happyyyyy.... happyyyy..... HAPPYYYYY!!!" all of a sudden all the strength went out of me and I understood that you were right.

I AM HAPPY.

resurrected wreck said...

Just keep repeating that, K, and one day you'll believe it!

Don't forget to click your heels together and repeat "There's no place like home" for extra effect!

Anonymous said...

*click click*

There's no place like LA. There's no place like LA. There's no place like LA.

God, I guess there really isn't!

farawaysoclose said...

hiya guys!

princess! that's shitty about your wallet and makeup!! makeup in particular!!

RW i love the sound of your jacket!! that's so my kind of jacket!

and can i say, things are so much cheaper with you guys!! the UK is fucking expensive!

resurrected wreck said...

Hi, FASC! :)

RW i love the sound of your jacket!! that's so my kind of jacket!

Mine too ^_^ I'm going to change the buttons on it to give it even more of a military feel.

farawaysoclose said...

well you certainly have the ability to do that RW!!

Anonymous said...

Hey FASC! RW to answer your question here (I don't want to be incessant at Mayo's, LOL!) I am going to the folks' to meet up with everyone. I hear tell they are getting The Big Sandwich. And the party is for me, my cousin, her husband, and our Gran. Among us we have birthdays on the same two days. i also share a birthday with my brother. Crazy!

Anonymous said...

What sucks is that I can't bring my dogs because there will be too many people, soI have to lock up what I can here and hope that they don't get into things and destroy stuff. My dogs like to eat my plants and get into the garbage. Gross.

If I disappear suddenly it just means that I went to the party! ^_^

Anonymous said...

In the meantime I am bored bored bored, and sitting here looking at Raistlin Majere fanart and being annoyed because no one's getting him right. They either have the wrong color robes for the time period or they forget to make him gold or they forget to make his eyes with hourglass pupils, I mean how can you forget something as basic as that? Pish posh.

What you guys doin?

resurrected wreck said...

I just finished eating my pizza, K, and I am now enjoying some Chunky Monkey ice cream ^_^

All in honour of your birthday, of course!

Anonymous said...

Mmmmmmm, nice! I love how you do things for yourself for me, Wife. I think that's so great. It's what I want for you. It makes me happy.

resurrected wreck said...

What a coincidence! It's what I want for me too!

Anonymous said...

Hey, let me hook you up with Rock Royalty. I'm all in with the Rock Royalty, did you know that? I can't seem to bully my own bandmembers into skipping out on their honeymoons to do this, so the best thing I can do is throw it your way. More exposure for you! (And you can take that any way you want!)

I know you'll be classy about it, and that when you talk all about how you're doing a show for "rock royalty" you'll act all abashed and like you really shouldn't even mention it, by golly. ^_^

It's why I love you!

farawaysoclose said...

i'm sat with the laptop and the bloke in my sitting room. the 9 year old has just gone to bed (a bit late...we watched X Factor) and that's as fucking sexciting as it gets in my very very dull life!!

oh and our clocks go back tonight which would mean one hour extra sleep but kids do not adhere to that rule so it means absolutely fuck all basically!!

oh and i should have been an aquarius instead of a pisces?! apparantly (according to your link K). but i was 7 weeks early so i should have been an aries anyway??!

resurrected wreck said...

Aw, thanks, honey! ^_^ Just to show you how grateful I am, me and my friends are going to start hanging all over an unfortunate, impressionable high-profile 16 year old. I'll make you proud, baby!

resurrected wreck said...

I am going to watch The Hogfather and paint my nails tonight, FASC. That's my weekend excitement!

farawaysoclose said...

what colour RW?

Anonymous said...

FASC, that whole thing was so disconcerting, right? I mean, come on! I'm a Scorpio, goddamnit! ^_^

RW, that's the whole idea! You go and leech off the kid and take her out clubbing. Being on the side of helping little kids is like so 2005. Now I just say, let's have suicide parties and take them to clubs and use fatherless kiddies to further our own gains. YAY FOR US.

resurrected wreck said...

Hussy red, FASC!

resurrected wreck said...

I always knew you were my soul mate, K, like, as far back as last year!

Anonymous said...

RW you pretty much helped me write my novel that I finished four years ago. Don't ask me how you did that, but you did. Maybe along with your backbending ability, you can travel time, too! O_O

resurrected wreck said...

I also wear the bass really well.

Anonymous said...

You guitar-hero the bass onstage like nobody's business, Wife. I love the way you kinda grip the, the, the long part of it back there with all four fingers over all the strings and then strum it like a guitar. SO HOT.

resurrected wreck said...

And I'm so coordinated with it now I can almost keep in time to the backing track, did you notice?

farawaysoclose said...

And I'm so coordinated with it now I can almost keep in time to the backing track, did you notice?

i do love it when you guys interact so wonderfully. you were made for one another you know.

such progress RW!


believe believe believe


*releases pressure on K's and RW's temples*


*and breathe*


session over!

*adjusts white coat and goes outside for a smoke*

resurrected wreck said...

Thank you, FASC. I feel much better now!

resurrected wreck said...

I like the skellington kitty on the DM home page, by the way.

Can I buy one for myself with your money, K?

farawaysoclose said...

well that is what i am here for!

that'll be $1000!!



gotta fly guys!

have a fun evening and love to you all!

resurrected wreck said...

Bye & have a good evening, FASC ^_^

K will send you a cheque.

farawaysoclose said...

Can I buy one for myself with your money, K?

as your's and K's doctor RW i can say that K will give you pretty much fucking anything at the mo! she's already given you her integrity!

grab now before K wakes up from this surreal nightmare she has been in for 14 months!!

resurrected wreck said...

I like the skellington kitty on the DM home page, by the way.

Can I buy one for myself with your money, K?


OMG, I can't believe I just asked you that, K!

I mean, why did I ask? I'm gonna just do it!

Anonymous said...

Sei,

You are too kind. I would like to share an old arabic poem:

The sand is like acres of wet milk
Poured out under the moonlight;
It crawls up about your brown feet
Like wine trodden from white stars.


Again, thank you.

Anonymous said...

Whoop whoop, what a great party! I ate obscene amounts of sugar, which is awesome. :D OMG, my cousin and her husband bought me the most AWESOME socks. And gave me a framed photo of the Boychild and me at Disneyworld, so sweet. As well as many other goodies like lip balm and lotion and stuff that I absolutely adore, as well as season 4 of House! ^___^

My aunt and uncle and Jo-chan and SB gave me a gift certificate to Amazon, which is so much YAY. And my aunt baked these INSANE cookies. INSANE. i just kept filling my face.

But the best is just seeing everyone all hanging out together and having a great time. ^_^

6:58, that's beautiful, such a moving image. I'm into this Arabic aesthetic so far. Thank you for posting that. :D

Right now there is a huge storm blowing, and I think it is just ripping down the last of the autumn leaves. We've got thunder and lightning, too. I'll be sleeping with my window open tonight because it's not really that cold, and the wind is so refreshing.

Mmmm, so nice! :D

Oh! And my pie turned out great!

Anonymous said...

I adore K-Wreck satire. =)
You girls are so sharp!

And yay, for birthday socks, Kapunua! Glad your cluster birthday celebration was vrilliant fun! It's crazy how many of your family are so close in dates! =)

Socky,

I love your thoughtfulness towards so many bloggers in your choice of story!

And also the induced reciprocal horror for those who are less enarmoured with the wiggly foot apendage.

32 points for the double score. ;)

Hope your weekends are all going well. See ya. =)

sdock10 said...

Rise and shine, Beauties! 'Tis a beautiful fall morning!

Solly's Random Poem of The Day;

Fireflies

I SAW, one sultry night above a swamp,
The darkness throbbing with their golden pomp!
And long my dazzled sight did they entrance
With the weird chaos of their dizzy dance!
Quicker than yellow leaves, when gales despoil,
Quivered the brilliance of their mute turmoil,
Within whose light was intricately blent
Perpetual rise, perpetual descent.
As though their scintillant flickerings had met
In the vague meshes of some airy net!
And now mysteriously I seemed to guess,
While watching their tumultuous loveliness,
What fervor of deep passion strangely thrives
In the warm richness of those tragic lives,
Whose wings can never tremble but they show
Those hearts of living fire that beat below!


Edgar Fawcett

sdock10 said...

Anne Pressly, the Arkansas anchorwoman that was found beaten in her home, died last night. That is so sad and they have no clue who could have done it. Those anchorwomen are always the targets of stalkers and crazy folks. But what kind of person can break into someone's home, beat them almost to death, and then just walk away and leave them there.

I don't know.

And Jennifer Hudson's mother and brother were found shot to death in her mother's home this weekend.

Horrible news.

I can't imagine going through something like that.

sdock10 said...

So my dream last night....

I was making out with a UPS dude on the front porch of some big ol house while the rain came pouring down.

Then, I woke up.

Craziness.

Smoke said...

And did you see where all those cheerleaders died in a car crash in Tennessee? I think there was five of them. Maybe more.

Just awful.

sdock10 said...

OMG, no, I did not see that.

Smoke said...

Yeah, I think it was foggy and the roads were slick and the SUV hydroplaned. It caught on fire.

I just can't even imagine what that community and those families are going through right now.

sdock10 said...

That's terrible.

Anonymous said...

Such awful news! I heard about Jennifer Hudson's family. That's so terrible it doesn't even bear thinking about.

I hope you guys are all doing okay. :) I posted a link and a funny story at Mayo's. :)

sdock10 said...

Jules,

That was a great story. Bwahha!

Every morning that I'm driving to work, I try and remind myself to watch the sunrise and my most favorite part is right when it looks like the sky is on fire, like a huge orange fireball of Tang or something, but always right before that, you get these awesome deep dark blues and purples smeared with peaches and pinks. It's spectacular.

sdock10 said...

I challenged Mayo to a sunrise duel the other day and I dared him to top my Georgia sunrise while listening to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. I am pretty sure he's still waiting on one to top that.

Unless he gets a sunrise while Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah is playing, I'm thinking he can't top mine.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't save her;
I know she will die.
But please, if I could only
Tell her goodbye.
All I want is just one more day.
That morning in May...

I've fought reptilian monsters;
I've crossed a bloody sea
Just to
Meet you here
And now I'm coming home, my dear.

The light is warm,
Outside at dawn.
The garden has no weeds,
No grave beneath the tree.
Through the silent house
My love, after all,
Curled up in a ball,
There you are...

sdock10 said...

Uh oh, my nose is starting to tickle and kind of burn in that way right before you are about to get some nasty cold.

Noooooooooo!

I don't want to be sick.


Jules,

What ya gonna buy with your Amazon bucks? Huh? Huh?

Smoke said...

Oh, now they are saying that Jennifer Hudson's brother-in-law may be connected to the murders.

That is just awful!

sdock10 said...

Smoke,

I heard that too. Apparently he has threatened the family before over a stupid car title or something. I just hope they find her nephew safe and sound.

Anonymous said...

I had assumed since the beginning that her brother in law was involved. That juts sucks really hard. I feel so bad for her. >_<

Unless he gets a sunrise while Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah is playing, I'm thinking he can't top mine.

TROOFAX.

I'm going to clean the birds and then go out,and in my car Imma listen to me some Ludo!

You know what I love? I realized this yesterday. They do lots of rhythm changes in their choruses. This band loves the 3/4 time, the "waltz" time. "Drunken Lament" is in 3/4, I'm thinking that "Please" has the verse in common time and the chorus in 3/4, (IIRC because I'm still getting their song titles mixed up,) and Lake Pontchartrain definitely has the verse in common and the chorus in 3/4.

I LOVE the rhythm switcheroo that they pull in those songs. It makes it so dramatic.

And I love the key changes throughout Broken Bride, especially between "Lamb & Dragon" and "Morning in May." MIM has some very sad and elegant key changes that are so moving, you know?

The way I write it "Lamb & Dragon" makes it sound like medieval dog food. O_O

Okay, I need to stop babbling and go get my birds done! :D

Smoke said...

I love me some Ludo. ^_^

I want them to come closer to Georgia! WAHAHAHA!

farawaysoclose said...

hi there porchies!

just popping into say hello!

did ludo do NO videos for any songs off the EP??
if not then that's just mean! and very wrong and torturous! is that even a word?!

awful news about Jennifer Hudson's family.

shit and the cheerleaders.



anyway i'm rushing in and out as the bloke has just popped to the shops, so what do i do?? leap on the computer!

hi PP btw!

K glad you had a fabulous time yesterday with your family!

oh and solly.....how far did you get in your dream?? with the guy?? i hate waking up before the end!!^_~

only kidding!

oh and i have just caught your story at mayo's about the NYC cop K!! aaaah that's kinda sweet in a way!!

right gotta go guys, got my brother and family coming round in less than 3 hrs and i've got a shit load of food preparation to do!

have lovely sundays!

Smoke said...

Hi and bye, FASC! Have fun with the family today! ^_^



Rock of Love Charm School! Whoop! Whoop!

I ♥ Megan. :)

farawaysoclose said...

seeya proncess!

sdock10 said...

FASC,

Hairy toe! Hairy toe!

Bwah!

Have a great afternoon!

Anonymous said...

Hi Errbody *waves*

Just a quick in and out from me a la FASC stylee, my parents are coming over for tea so I need to whiz the Dyson round. But I will be back later tonight! Jules, you got some really cool prezzies. And I am also obsessed with Ludo at the moment. I really like broken Bride part 1 and also Love Me Dead. The lyrics to Love Me Dead made me go 0_0.

Anonymous said...

Here it is!

Anonymous said...

Oh my god this version is so funny!

Anonymous said...

I scored big at Target today! i got some much-needed jeans, sweatpants, a really cute skirt, some pajama bottoms that are as warm and comfy as you can possibly imagine, and DREAMY fuzzy socks. I am such a comfort whore.

I tried on some skinny jeans too. They made me look like a pencil. No thanks. >_<

Anonymous said...

FASC, you always make me smile. And you are quite wise. :)

Lucy Bean, that is such an awesome video! They rule for doing that. ^_^ I love them.

Anonymous said...

Watchers at Mayo's! O_O ^_^ *waves*

Anonymous said...

For the record we all laughed about "beyond poetic" K. I personally like your ability to always turn lemons into lemonade. Good luck with school.

watcher nsi

Smoke said...

Hiya Watchers!

Thank you for what you said at Mayo's.

You guys are always welcome here. I hope you know that.

Anonymous said...

Thank you very much, Watchers. ^_^

Anonymous said...

La Principesa! What you doin'? :) You ever get your stuff back or is it gone for good?

Smoke said...

It's gone-gone. :(

My wallet with my drivers license and my make-up bag. GRR!!!

I'm more pissed off about my make-up bag! It had my favorite tweezers in it! WAHAHAH!

>_<

Smoke said...

I can't figure out why they didn't take my whole purse though. I think it was a kid actually. At LHM's school possibly. That's the only thing I can figure.

Unless...

I put my stuff somewheres and can't remember where. O_o

Anonymous said...

Okay, remember before you became Hugh Hefner, when you used to be a Watcher?

Anonymous said...

Oh man, Princess, that really sucks. Did you report it missing or anything?

Anonymous said...

WATCHER'S PET!

Anonymous said...

That's me with the Buffy quotes, BTW. I always think of BTVS when I hear the word "Watcher."

Smoke said...

Nah, I it was pretty worthless stuff but I may ask the principal if they have any security cameras out front of the school. That would at least explain it.

>_<

Anonymous said...

It's too bad we can't take a look at the Watcher diaries, and read up on Angel. I'm sure it's full of fun facts to know and tell.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I agree. I'm not sure if I would or wouldn't, princess. I always tell people, "Oh, you should totally so and so!" when something goes wrong, but if I'm in that situation I usually just let things go. I'm so lazy.

Smoke said...

Be back in a bit!

Anonymous said...

I was ten years old when my father told me I was destined to be a Watcher. He was one, and his mother before him, and I was to be next.

Anonymous said...

Were you thrilled beyond all measure?

Anonymous said...

No, I had very definite plans about my future. I was going to be a fighter pilot. Or possibly a grocer.

Anonymous said...

Apropos of nothing, I have become completely addicted to this one sandwich.

Anonymous said...

Will you answer these questions Kapunua? Will the rest of you?

Anonymous said...
The questions are

Does Kapu really believe she, her family, her friends shine brighter than others?

Does she really believe her opinion is worth more than the opinion of others?

Are her feelings more precious than the feelings of others?

Do her friends agree with that?

Do they believe other people are beneath them?

Amy expressed her feelings and her opinions at her blog. Didn't she have the right to do so?

October 26, 2008 5:15 PM

Anonymous said...

Hi fellow Porkies! *waves*

How's life here on the pork? It's 10:15 and my parents are still here! My mum is watching Desperate Housewives so I'm sneaking on the pooter as I have already seen this episode earlier in the week.

Anonymous said...

Will you answer these questions Kapunua? Will the rest of you?

Gladly, and with a smile.


Does Kapu really believe she, her family, her friends shine brighter than others?


While I am not sure how you got that out of my saying that the nasty people make the good people look better by contrast, the answer is, for the most part, yes. There are people who "shine brighter" in my world than others. My family and friends; I value them over ones I know less of, and I most assuredly value them over people I don't even like. I never said that I "shine brighter" and I don't get where you keep getting that from It's almost like there's a language barrier or something!


Does she really believe her opinion is worth more than the opinion of others?


Not really, and I don't get where you're getting that from, either. However, I do fight against things I think are wrong, such as the oppression of groups of people, individually or based on their race, religion, creed, gender, sexual orientation etc.; cruelty to animals; slavery and slave trading (which still goes on today;) the loss of our rights throughout america and the rest of the world etc. I'm not sure what you mean by "worth more: because you can't really put value on opinions.

I'd also like to add that those things I fight for and against are not exactly "opinions" as much as they are widely held truths: that cruel practices in the world should be stopped (hint: I am not talking about flame-wars on the internet,) that people should be made aware that such things still go on in this world, and that people should fight against those things to the best of their ability.

Perhaps that opinion is "worth" more than the opinions of people who think, "Oh to hell with it; I wanna suck the whole world dry, screw everyone else!" Yeah. Perhaps.

Are her feelings more precious than the feelings of others?

I hardly consider my "feelings" on this blog, seeing as I've had my private information googled, people have called my ex-boss, they've made sure I lost my job, they've looked for my last name and my town etc. So "feelings" kinda comes in a bad second here. More: I don't really feel hurt by the name-calling I've put up with either, nor really by the accusations. That's why, I think, I can indeed make light of it in poetry or in conversation.


Do her friends agree with that?

Do they believe other people are beneath them?


That, I can't answer; you'd have to ask them. However, I've met some of these people, and they are some of the most gracious people I've ever met. They do, in fact, shine bright! So I doubt they think other people are beneath them, and I wonder where you're getting that from. Again, it almost seems like some kind o flanguage barrier or something, you know?

Amy expressed her feelings and her opinions at her blog. Didn't she have the right to do so?

Sure, I never said she--or anyone--didn't have that right. In fact the only time I've addressed her opinion is to make light of the way others and myself have been singled out and called "pathetic" etc. You know, talking about someone's opinion, making light of the things they've said about you, and indeed disagreeing with it does not = "taking away their right to express it. Not in English, anyway and I doubt in any other language either, but then I'm not very well traveled out of this solar system. ^_^

I hope that answers your questions once and for all. :)

Anonymous said...

Hello Lucy bean! I'm gonna go draw for a while and listen to Broken Bride again. I've never seen Desperate Housewives. O_O I'm kinda lame.

Anonymous said...

Yes Kapunua. That told me everything I needed to know from you. Thanks for not calling me an idiot, worthless or any of the usual names you call people who have a different opinion from yours. I think you're learning. Thanks for answering.

Anonymous said...

OK Jules, have fun and watch out for the Terry's. (flyinging dinosaurs that I won't even attempt to spell!)

I'm off to hit the scratchy hay. Imma gonna sing Love Me Dead while I brush my teeth! Heeeeeeeeeeeee! It's the simple things!

Anonymous said...

LOL @ flyinging! That's just the way those prehistoric birds roll! :D

Anonymous said...

"Anon," by your phrase "the usual things" I can only guess that you are here to start trouble. "the usual things" are, in part, things you have made up and tried to perpetuate about me. Yep, I called someone an idiot last year. She was pushing my buttons and making fun of me because child slavery upset me. Not because her opinion was different. I gave her the reaction she wanted. I kinda knew you were going to drag that out, which is why I addressed child slavery already. In fact, that very person has talked to me since then without quarreling, so your attempt at trying to "defend" her is obviously only for yourself. It's over. You're not her, so why can't you let it go?

And if saying that someone is not worth my time to talk to means that they are a worthless human being, then once again I point to a possible language barrier between you and I. Because someone is not worth my time to talk to does not mean "go die, you are worthless." The rest, I don't really know what you're referring to. Just because you keep asserting these things does not make them true.

The fact that you didn't address anything I said also speaks volumes about your true reason for asking me those questions.

You're trying to build some wacky "case" against me on a blog. On a blog, "anon." How weird is that?

Anonymous said...

My true reasons for asking those questions are because people want to know the answers. You can try to turn this into something it isn't. You can try to twist my words or put words into my mouth. You can even try to claim you know how my mind works, what my feelings are. You do not.

The truth is
those types of things won't work with me. I have no buttons to push. I don't respond to manipulation.

Motives? I have none. I seek only answers to questions.

Do you really believe telling someone you are not worth my time is not the same as calling them worthless?

Was she the only person you ever called an idiot? I don't think she was. She wasn't trying to push your buttons. She was stating her opinions and you called her an idiot for having those opinions.

I do think you have learned somethings. You have not learned when to walk away. You have not learned you shouldn't always feel the need to make others think you are right. You have not overcome the need to always try to prove you are right.

When someone says this is what I think or this is how I feel you can not negate those thoughts or feelings. Why would you want to try? They belong to them.

This is me
walking away.

Leaving you to your thoughts, feelings and opinions. None of which I will try to negate. They are yours.

Anonymous said...

My true reasons for asking those questions are because people want to know the answers.

"People?" I'm only talking to one person here, "anon." And they are questions meant to start trouble.


Do you really believe telling someone you are not worth my time is not the same as calling them worthless?


Yes. In English, they are two separate things. "You are not worth my time, however I'm sure you're worth someone else's." Everyone has someone that they mean something to. Are there people, anon, who are not worth your time? People who say mean things to you, who try to get a rise out of you? Do you spare your time on their negativity? Or would you rather turn it to something better? I would rather turn my time to something better than their negativity, therefore, they are not worth my time. Yes "anon," those are two different ideas.

You can try to twist my words or put words into my mouth.

I haven't twisted any of your words or re-quoted you in any way. That's actually what you're doing to me by saying "lazy" and "worthless" etc.


Was she the only person you ever called an idiot?


On this blog, in public? Probably, although there are a hell of a lot of idiots out there.

I don't think she was. She wasn't trying to push your buttons. She was stating her opinions and you called her an idiot for having those opinions.

How could you know such a thing? Anyway, I disagree.


I do think you have learned somethings. You have not learned when to walk away.


Seeing as how you've been at me for a year now, "anon," I'd question who really does not know when to walk away. ^_^

You have not overcome the need to always try to prove you are right.

And when it comes to defending the helpless, speaking out against the awful things that go on in this world, or at the very least letting others know about this cause, then I hope I never do overcome that need. ^_^

When someone says this is what I think or this is how I feel you can not negate those thoughts or feelings.

No, but if they insult you personally, then you can laugh at them and make the best of it. ^_^

I guess I'll be seeing you in a few more days, since you know so well how to "walk away." :)

Anonymous said...

HOOTAH! ^_^

Anonymous said...

What do you mean, "you people?"

sdock10 said...

Hey Jules!

Anonymous said...

We're supposed to be a unit!

Anonymous said...

Sollywolly!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, you're the Milli Vanilli of patriots okay? You lied about fighting in the Vietnam War. It's like - It's like punching the American Flag in the face goddammit! God, to think I believed you!

Anonymous said...

"Suck my unit" had to be my favorite line in the whole film. It was just the way he said it.

Anonymous said...

Man, just cause it's a theme song don't make it not true.

Anonymous said...

I know what dude I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!

Anonymous said...

Okay, I'm gonna go back to painting. Later Solly!

Anonymous said...

You're the dude that don't know what dude he is.

Anonymous said...

Or are you a dude who doesn't know what dude he is, but pretends to know what dude he is by playing other dudes?

Anonymous said...

I know what dude I am!

Anonymous said...

You're scared.

Anonymous said...

I ain't scared. Scared o' what?

Anonymous said...

Scared of who.

Anonymous said...

Scared of who?

Anonymous said...

Scared of you!

Anonymous said...

He's right you know. I'm not Sergeant Lincoln Osiris. Nor am I Father O'Malley or Neil Armstrong. I think I might be... nobody.

Anonymous said...

My name is Nobody.

Anonymous said...

Excuse me?

Anonymous said...

My name is Exaybachay. He Who Talks Loud, Saying Nothing.

Anonymous said...

He who talks... I thought you said your name was Nobody.

Anonymous said...

I preferred to be called Nobody.

Anonymous said...

Did you kill the white man who killed you?

Anonymous said...

I'm not dead. Am I?

resurrected wreck said...

Morning! ^_^

farawaysoclose said...

morning guys!

are we sticking to this post then?

our clocks have changed so you are now only 4 hrs behind me. so it's 7.24am with you.

unless you have the day off.

hmmmmmm.....


anyway hi RW!!

princess i felt for sure i mentioned how shit it was that your wallet and makeup bag were nicked. but it appears i didn't??! so i am sorry and i would be gutted about the make up bag and the good tweezers cos that is so meffing important!!

mind you the driving liscence is a pain in the arse aswell!

anyway have good mondays, my kids are off school driving me insane! my car is having a £169 service and that's before the new tyres it needs! oh shit! christmas is approaching, i have no savings cos i had to spend them on normal boring shit and my credit cards are both just at a silly level!

other than that all is fine!

gotta fly!

MissTottenham said...

Hi guys, just a quickie. I hope you are all well.



Hiya K sweetie.

I hope you had the best birthday.

I'm so sorry I couldn't be part of the festvities. I am laid up with flu. Our house is a cacophany of coughs. Mum has had it for over a week and it's getting worse not better.

I have succumbed, it's awful. I did think of you while I was coughing into my tissue.

I am gonna go now cos I don't wanna spread this virus hahaha!

Take care sweetie.

Take care everyone.

xxxxxx

Smoke said...

WAAAAHHHAAAAHHAHAHAHA!!!

My internet is down at home!

WAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!



MissT, I hope you feel better soon!


Have a great day, everyone!

Anonymous said...

Princess, what's up with your and Solly's intranetz?? WTF?

Misty, I hope you feel worlds better. That sucks. >_<

Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or is Livejournal down?

Smoke said...

I don't know what's wrong, Jules. It went down last night and I tried to call them this morning and the number wouldn't do anything. No ringing, no busy signal, nothing. Just dead silence. O_O

WTF? WTMFF?

Anonymous said...

That's crazy! My internet goes down more than a five dollar whore, but usually only when it rains. Well, you're online so maybe do a google search for the name of your provider and see what their homepage says?

Anonymous said...

Crazy dream Mayo posted, right?

Jennicula said...

Hi guys.

Just stopping by on my lunch break.

Anonymous said...

Hi Bunnicula! How's it going? The sisters are having trouble with their stupid internet and me, I just went for a walk around the neighborhood and took some pics. :)

Smoke said...

I would kill for some chocolate milk right now.

Just sayin'.

farawaysoclose said...

i have some here princess!

not gonna work though is it??!!

byee!

oh and miss T sorry you are feeling so poorly! hope you fell better soon!

Smoke said...

Thanks for trying, FASC! ^_^

Hee-hee. See you later!

Anonymous said...

That new clip from The Used. ^_^

farawaysoclose said...

hey thanks K!

Bert seems so grown up all of a sudden!

Anonymous said...

Hey FASC! Does he now? He still seems like a little kiddie to me, but then I've got, what, nine years on him? O_O

farawaysoclose said...

yes for a bit he sounded all grown up! i didn't see a wedding ring? he did get married didn't he?

haha i love Bert though. have you been following their new blog? they are so down to earth and not afraid to look silly or crazy or anything. that's quite a rare thing when people become famous. i really respect that as well.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, they keep a really funny blog; I've made a few comments. :) They seem like a good bunch of guys!

Welp, if I disappear suddenly it's because I left for Kung Fu. ^_^

sdock10 said...

It's Solly, botches!

farawaysoclose said...

hey solly babe!!

you OK?

K i've not commented yet. but i like seeing what's going on.

have fun at Kung Fu!!

farawaysoclose said...

not so bad solly.

my little boy is poorly. he has a croupey(sp) cough and a fever so he coughs so much he pukes! had a bit of a night of it last night but now he is medicated up and asleep. it's 21.51 and i need to go really. sadly!!

sorry you have had a pissy day. i had a pissy day yesterday, getting annoyed for not really any reason and then today i realised the reason! the months go quick as hell!! ^_~

love you all!

Anonymous said...

AIM?

sdock10 said...

I miss Mustard.

mya said...

Great interpretation, Kapunua!

Take Care, Porchies!

sdock10 said...

Hiya Mya!

Anonymous said...

Hiya Mya! Thanks!

SOLLY! YOU HAVE RETURNED! I'm so glad!

I just got back from Kung Fu which was pretty fantasmorgasmic. I'm joint-locking Beautiful Boy and he's going, "You have to drag me down to the ground, don't give up so soon! Great! Now you can petty much drag me anywhere."

So I start to drag him towards the door saying, "Okay then, you're coming with me."

"Oh, you're gonna drag me away and say, 'You're my boyfriend now!' or what?"

Which is where I should have gotten suave and said something devastatingly cool but all I managed was, "Tee-hee! Umm. Sorry if I hurt you."

I RULE AT BOYS.

Catch you guys in a bit! I'm yucky.

Anonymous said...

Three snaps!

Okay, really going this time. Later!

sdock10 said...

I can't go to bed without leaving you guys with Solly's Random Poem of the Day...err Night:

Solitude

WHEN you have tidied all things for the night,
And while your thoughts are fading to their sleep,
You'll pause a moment in the late firelight,
Too sorrowful to weep.

The large and gentle furniture has stood
In sympathetic silence all the day
With that old kindness of domestic wood;
Nevertheless the haunted room will say:
"Someone must be away."

The little dog rolls over half awake,
Stretches his paws, yawns, looking up at you,
Wags his tail very slightly for your sake,
That you may feel he is unhappy too.

A distant engine whistles, or the floor
Creaks, or the wandering night-wind bangs a door

Silence is scattered like a broken glass.
The minutes prick their ears and run about,
Then one by one subside again and pass
Sedately in, monotonously out.

You bend your head and wipe away a tear.
Solitude walks one heavy step more near.


Harold Munro

Anonymous said...

or the wandering night-wind bangs a door

*snicker*


Sorry! It really is a beautiful and somber poem.

But I'm twelve.

Anonymous said...

I like it when Mayo gets mad! It's hot. ;)

I'm off to watch my movie. Good night, pork!