Friday, March 28, 2008

Over My Shoulder

Running as fast as I ever have
I can feel your breath on the back of my neck
My pace picks up
Scared to look behind
I make myself turn to see
Yes, it is you again
My heart is going to beat through my chest
I am choking
Trying to take in more and more air
Like somehow that will propel me forward
and farther away
You are relentless in your pursuit
Reaching for my shirt
Doing my best to dodge
I stumble
and fall from what feels like 3 stories high
Hands
Elbows
Knees
Face planted in the ground
Pulling myself up
I manage a crawl
But I am too late
You are in front of me now
My path blocked
No escape
No retreat
I look up
My eyes are locked with yours
You can smell my fear for miles
Now is your opportunity to run with it
But instead
You kneel down
and offer an outstretched arm,
open palm
I go against everything I have ever known
and decide to hold on.








Why was I running?

56 comments:

farawaysoclose said...

good morning!!!!!

farawaysoclose said...

great post solly!!

i am reading old mayo to pick my fav so i can answer K's question.

i'm feeling all nostalgic!!!

Smoke said...

Sausage Balls! ^_^

Wedding cookies! ^_^

Work for eight hours! >_<

It's Friday! ^_^

Stupid people. >_<

Counting Crows are on tv! ^_^

God, I've missed them.

Alright people, unicorns, porch, etc:

Have a great day! See you all later on!

XOXO,
S&V20

sdock10 said...

Thanks, FASC!

I don't think I can pick a fave Mayo post. I like them all for the different emotions they stir in me.

Hope you have a great afternoon!!

farawaysoclose said...

thank you!!!!

farawaysoclose said...

and yeh i'm struggling with the fav mayo post.

i've narrowed it down to about 10!!!!!

farawaysoclose said...

hi guys!!

hope you are all ok?

just popping in to say that i am away this weekend so won't see you until sunday evening (UK time).

have lovely weekends!!

Anonymous said...

Have fun, FASC! Tell Mr. Bloke that we all said hello! ^_^


Jeez! Has everyone forgot about the porch? ^_~

I haven't forgot you, Porch. Nope. Not a chance.

So ummm, yeah, okay. I'm listening to Billy Idol right now. White Wedding. Niiiiiice.

Food Anon -

Don't forget lunch today. You need to eat sumfin' yummy. Like a big salad. Yeah, that'll be good. ^_^

Anonymous said...

oh what a feeling,

i'm dancing on the ceiling.



*waves*
just got in, and going out. off to the beach and having some dinner with the tornado.

she says
'eho'
to you all just like the teletubbies.

Anonymous said...

Salads are for chicks and rabbits.

Anonymous said...

Silly Anon, this is the Bunny Porch! ^_~

Gahhhh! Salads are good for you!

Anonymous said...

Be that as it may, salads rock.

Specially with some grilled chicken on the top and some cheese and tomatoes and some salad dressing.

Yummo.

Hey everyone! I hope you're making Friday kickass! You know, it is fucking Friday after all! ;)

See you all around!

Anonymous said...

O_O


SMOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!

Anonymous said...

O_O

MUUUUUSSSSSTTTTAARRRRRRDDDD!!!

Get outta my head!

Anonymous said...

NO!

I will stay in there and corrupt you with my awesomeness!!!

I gotta go, but I'll for sure be back later.

You keep this shit under control, okay? I SAID OKAAAAY?!?!

'Kay. :)

See you in a bit!

JocelynHolly said...

=] Anyone around? I'm terribly lonely on this Friday of a day! =]

Anonymous said...

RAWR!!!!

JocelynHolly said...

RAWWWWWR! =] =]

*hug*

Smoke said...

Where is everyone???? O_O

PPU?

Damn you.

Mustard?

PH?

Fimble?

ANYONE?

OOOOHHHH, isn't MISST supposed to be back today? ^_^

Anonymous said...

eazy peazy blumpkin peazy!

Smoke said...

O_o

Anonymous said...

OMG. O_O

Anonymous said...

Guess what?

It is five o'clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Porchies! *waves*

Smok, I posted something that may interest you at Mayo's.

Intrigued? You should be! muahahaha

sdock10 said...

Wassup, Porchies?

PPU!! Where were you today? The porch missed you!

Anonymous said...

Back!

sdock10 said...

Hey Mustard!

What ya doin?

Anonymous said...

Nothin' much.

How's it going with you?

sdock10 said...

S'okay, I guess. Feeling like I should be sitting somewhere just writing and writing and writing.

But I'm tired and hungry.

Smoke said...

Where's MissT?????? :(

sdock10 said...

Maybe she will be on later...maybe she hasn't gotten back yet..maybe she is tired...maybe she will be back tomorrow.

I miss her.

Anonymous said...

Why was I running?

To escape the truth?

I don't know, why?

sdock10 said...

Fear...running because I am scared but not realizing it's the fear that it holding me back.

Or something like that....

Just what I was feeling this morning.

sdock10 said...

Did you like this post, Mustard?

Anonymous said...

I do like it.

I must admit that I was not expecting that ending though. Why'd you end it the way you did? I thought I would get to the bottom and you would be blocked for forever.

sdock10 said...

Because, I wanted the reader to realize that it was my fucked up perception of the situation that was causing me to run. I was never in any danger...just overcome by fear. Fear that was causing me to run further and further away from hands that are not out to tear me apart but to help put me back together again.

...or something like that

Anonymous said...

You sure about that?

You sure they're going to help put you back together?

sdock10 said...

In my mind, I hope they will.

Of course they could, strangle me and feed my cold dead corpse through a woodchipper.

Anonymous said...

Well, I hope the latter never happens.

Just so you know that it's 50/50.

I wish you could stop running.

sdock10 said...

I am waiting for that fall, Mustard. I am waiting for that outstretched arm and open hand reaching for me. I keep waiting.

It never comes.

I really liked this post from me. When I write something like this, I can exhale...and be like yeah, that's it. That's how I feel. That's how I want it to be.

Anonymous said...

What happens if it never happens?

What if that hand doesn't reach for you? What if you keep waiting and waiting just to get to the end and have what you wanted not happen? What will you do?

sdock10 said...

Or what if you have happen what you think you want to happen, happen only to find out it isn't what you wanted at all??

To answer your question, I don't know. I have to believe it will happen. It might not come from who I think. It might have to come from myself. I might be the only one who can pick myself up.

Anonymous said...

It might have to come from myself. I might be the only one who can pick myself up.

I hope it's the case. Wanna know why?

I think if it happens this way, you'll believe in yourself more and realize that you can do anything you want. I think you'll finally realize your own strength.

sdock10 said...

Yeah but isn't it much more romantic to think of someone else picking me up, dusting me off, and putting me back together again?

Anonymous said...

Yeah. It's always nice to think about that happening. Kinda like in the movies, you know?

I guess it doesn't always happen like that though. At least that's what I've seen. Not that I don't wish it would, right?

Anonymous said...

I'm here. :)

sdock10 said...

Hey, why you gots a headache?

Anonymous said...

I don't have a clue.

It's like they never go away or something. Could be stress related. Could be sleep related. Could be anything.

sdock10 said...

Could be we stay on the meffin computer too much.

Smoke said...

Have you ever been to the doctor for it?

Anonymous said...

No, I just deal with them. They go away, but when I have one, it just makes me feel bad.

It's all good. :)



Hey again, Smoke!

Smoke said...

Hey!

The reason I asked is because I finally went to the dr and I have HBP. It's hereditary though. Have you checked yours?

Anonymous said...

No, all of that's good.

Mine's actually below the normal 120/80. At one point, it was averaging about 105/65 or so. It's pretty good.

I think it may just be stress or sleep or something.

sdock10 said...

Doctors suck...they always find stuff wrong.

Anonymous said...

I don't like the doctor's office.

I hate the smell. Makes me feel ill.

Smoke said...

Jeez!

Mine stays leveled out at about 150/110.

Makes me hyper.